Walking With God

Soft Targets

2/24/2021

But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people. For among them are those who creep into households and capture weak women, burdened with sins and led astray by various passions, always learning and never able to arrive at a knowledge of the truth.
~2 Timothy 3:1-7

Pause!

Before I talk about this passage and what God has placed on my heart, I feel like I need to clarify something spoken of here. Verse six says this: "For among them are those who creep into households and capture weak women, burdened with sins and led astray by various passions," I can almost hear the comments section raising in uproar over this. Though it clearly says 'women' in this passage I believe it is speaking of all people, only owing the wording to the first century notion that women were weak because they were for the most part uneducated. The truth is that we are all weak and susceptible to the influence of the Enemy and those under his sway.

What makes us 'weak' as it says in this verse? Well, when we allow ourselves to be compromised by living a sinful lifestyle and putting our earthly passions before God and His kingdom. So if we look at it from this perspective, then all of us are in equal danger and can be crept upon by those with ungodly intent.

unpause

Since the first day in the garden we have been threatened by an enemy. I know it is easier to think of what we fight against as a concept like 'temptation' or 'evil', but the truth is considerably worse. This enemy is the fallen angel Lucifer, yes the one depicted on TV as a romantic anti-hero. Satanists call him the ultimate rebel fighting for his rights over the oppressive establishment. And those unfamiliar with Scripture might picture a little red man with horns and a pitch fork, or the equal and opposite of God. All of these depictions are poison wrapped in candy, misinformation coated in glossed truth. Like the TV show, Lucifer was cast down from heaven when Lucifer chose to betray God. And he is a rebel against God, not for some grand or righteous purpose, but because he wants to overthrow God and take his place for his own power. Finally, Lucifer is the opposite of God. God is about love and serving others; while Lucifer is about hatred and taking for himself without regard for the well being of any others.

Satanists and some priests would say that Lucifer wars with God over the souls of man but I do not believe he cares in the least about you or I, not about our happiness not about our pain and he gains nothing from our 'souls'. He has one big beef and that is with God. Lucifer hates God with an unending passion, craving God's power but unable to obtain it. Unfortunately for Lucifer, there is NOTHING he can do about it. He cannot hurt God, he is not even on the same playing field as God. God is as far about Lucifer as he is above us! So if Lucifer (whom we call Satan which means 'adversary') is after God, then why does he come bothering us?

He would not, seeing us as specks unworthy of his attention except God loves us, making us His one soft target. God loves us and we are fleshy little things with big old targets on our foreheads. Lucifer knows how much God loves us, how deeply God seeks after us and works for our betterment. If he wants to hurt God... all he has to do is hurt us and our relationship with Him. Lucifer does not even care if we worship him, as long as we are looking away from God he is happy. And every time one of God's children is turned away from Him it is like a knife in God's heart.

As important as this is to know, why are we talking about it today? Why go over the motives of fallen angels? This is important to know because of 2 Timothy 3:1-7:

But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people. For among them are those who creep into households and capture weak women, burdened with sins and led astray by various passions, always learning and never able to arrive at a knowledge of the truth.

Which do you think would hurt a parent more; to have a child ripped away and killed, or to convince one child kill their sibling? This is Lucifer's strategy, this is his goal. We could go through each of these things listed at the beginning of 2 Timothy chapter three and see them at work in the world today. Proud, arrogant, greedy, brutal people living for themselves at the expense of others. Am I saying we are in the end times? I have no idea, maybe, but even if we are not, we are living in a world where we are becoming more obsessed with personal gains and what we think we deserve then what is truly important.

The worst part, the thing that breaks my heart and makes me weep, is that we do this and teach our children to do this and more. They are the 'weak woman' spoken of in this passage. They are burdened by our sins and led astray by the various passions we teach them to pursue. We teach them in grade 3 to question who they are, what they are. A child is not able to make decisions for themselves until they are 18 years old but we tell them they can decide their gender when they are 7. Is it a wonder why body dis-morphia and gender identity issues are sky rocketing?

Lucifer has been manipulating the narrative for generations, adjusting our perception of him. So how do we turn this back, how do we fight against a power that has literally had thousands of years of practice? We can't. Let us be honest with ourselves, if it was us versus him we lose 10 for 10. BUT! We are not the ones who have to fight him, God is with us and through Him we will live. By putting God at the center of who we are and what we do, we take on God's spirit and confound the plans of Lucifer. We become beings of love, of self-sacrifice, of joy and of peace leaving no place for the taint to take root. It is an ongoing process that requires vigilance and commitment and will at times hurt, this is a war after all. When we side with God there is a light at the end of the tunnel and that light is an eternity with Him filled with His love and peace. The light we see when we follow Lucifer either knowingly or not... that my friends is fire at the end of the tunnel.

I hope you take this as an encouraging message today. Being a follower of Christ is not easy but it is worth it. Remember, you are loved, you are cherished, you are awesome. God bless.

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Yesterday, Today and forever

2/17/2021

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The saying is trustworthy, for:
If we have died with him, we will also live with him;
if we endure, we will also reign with him;
if we deny him, he also will deny us;
if we are faithless, he remains faithful--
for he cannot deny himself.
~2 Timothy 2:11-13

I have been looking at my life and where I put my priorities, and as I have been looking I cast my eye on my relationship with God. This self assessment has brought me to a very important realization; there is one and only one definitive unchanging and immovable variable in my relationship with God. This is not just in my relationship with God but yours too, and that is Him.

He is the same yesterday

The situations we are going through, the so called 'facts' in our day to day lives change constantly; do not believe me? It is a fact I have to go to work today; if I lost my job, got sick or the church I work at blew up then those facts would change. Beyond this, what is important and relevant to us changes even faster then the facts. Think about a year ago and what was important to you then. Around this time last year I had 30+ kids in the after school care where I was the director and I was building up steam to start our first ever Spring Break Camp. Now the world has changed... I had to step down as director and because of illness I am only working about 15 hours a week. My life and what is important and relevant to me has MASSIVELY changed. There is only one thing that is unchanging, always and forever relevant to me no matter where I am and that is God.

He is the same today

Regardless of what I am going through God has always been there for me, that singular knowledge, that God has never left me even when I have turned my back on Him, insulates me from the fear my current situation tries to instill in me. I know He has my back because He is the same today as He has ever been. Can you imagine the security and safety that knowledge fills me with? Do you have that security? You should you know. This is not just MY GOD, He is OUR GOD, He is there for you as much as He is there for me because there is no end to His love for all of us. Love is something that defies physics. The more love you give to others fills you with even more love, it is a never ending flow that continues as long as you are using it. And here is the kicker many of us forget, GOD IS LOVE. As love itself God will never run out, never be too busy or not have time for you. God is the unchanging, undeniable everlasting gobstopper of love and will never leave nor forsake you. Chew on that for a minute.

He is the Same Forever

So take then the things of God and hold them tightly to you. For though the winds and tides of life ebb and flow; He has been, is and ever shall be our rock. God is the one thing we can cling to when all of our facts and situations shift leaving us hurt or broken. He is faithful and eternal desiring nothing more then to have a real and everlasting relationship with you right now. I look back on my life from before I opened my heart to God, wondering how I survived.... and I see Him. Even when I refused Him, denounced Him, hated Him... still He was there watching over me and pouring His love on me patiently. Even then He was unchanging.

I love you all, please remember that during this painful and exhausting period that you are loved, your are cherished and your are perfect. God bless.

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A Good Soldier

2/11/2021

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You therefore must endure hardship as a good soldier of Jesus Christ. No one engaged in warfare entangles himself with the affairs of this life, that he may please him who enlisted him as a soldier. ~2 Timothy 2:3-4

I have wanted to write an article talking about social justice for some time, explaining what 'virtue signaling' is and how the media and supposed 'social influencers' are using hot button topics as weapons against people groups they have a problem with. I had a rant all locked and loaded ready to go as these people reeeeeally irritate me... (takes a long deep breath and lets it out slowly.)

Then the Holy Spirit led me to this passage in 2nd Timothy and it has made me reevaluate how to handle this. You therefore must endure hardship as a good soldier of Jesus Christ. No one engaged in warfare entangles himself with the affairs of this life, that he may please him who enlisted him as a soldier. ~2 Timothy 2:3-4. Make no mistake, we are at war, but it is not against who you might think. We are not at war against the government or big business, not against racists or intolerance; our war is not against 'people' at all!

The best way I can think to explain it is this, think about the Keanu Reeves classic The Matrix. If you have not seen this movie you need to go and see this movie. It is one of the best allegories for spiritual warfare I have ever seen. In it, people are living their lives either for good of for ill; some are working in offices and others are criminals. It is our world with churches and media outlets and night clubs but underneath there is something else. There is a war happening all around them and they don't even know it, a war about the truth. The truth is, what they are experiencing as reality is not truly real and is currently under the control of a force that sees them as little more than a means to an end. Mankind enslaved to this force. The people in the matrix are not the enemy, they are blind to the real fight and who the protagonists are fighting against. This is spiritual warfare in a nutshell. Seriously, I could write all day about how you can find similarities between Christian spiritual warfare and this movie series but I think I will save that for another time. We are not at war with people but with a worse more devious enemy and our fight is not in the physical but in the spiritual.

My point here takes us back to 2nd Timothy: No one engaged in warfare entangles himself with the affairs of this life I have opinions and feeling about today's media and 'social justice' issues, ohhhh do I have opinions! But for me to get in there and sling stones about these issues not only splatters me with the same mud, but pulls my focus from what is important and puts it on what is of this world. The earth is temporary and in the grandness of the universe my short hundred years or less is an infinitesimal speck; the kingdom of God however is infinite and spectacular. That is where my focus needs to be, on growing God's kingdom, and I do that not by fighting people. You want to identify as a rainbow unicorn? Go right ahead, but I can only pray that by watching me and seeing the way I live my life, accepting, loving, compassionate and deeply deeply in love with my God that you will become curious and follow this white rabbit to the truth, Jesus Christ.

When followers of Jesus get wrapped up in fighting for our earthly 'rights' and see ourselves as better then others we become just another voice yelling into the abyss. We become no better then the plethora of special interest groups that clamor for attention, neutering our credibility and our ability to effect growth for the kingdom of God. We knew persecution in this world was part of the package deal, Peter tells us: Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice insofar as you share Christ's sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed. If you are insulted for the name of Christ, you are blessed, because the Spirit of glory and of God rests upon you. (1 Peter 4:12-14) We as followers of Christ experience persecution and suffering all over the world, is it fair? No. Is it right? No. Does it deny us what others receive freely? Yes. Should we be surprised? No. But we need to be beyond these things, looking to God instead of what is fair.

I hope you do not find this message today discouraging, we do not live for God so this life will be easier, but because we love Him and want to be with Him in the next. Remember, you are loved, your are cherished and you are perfect. God bless.

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Fighting the Good Fight

2/3/2021

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Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called and about which you made the good confession in the presence of many witnesses. ~1 Timothy 6:12

When the lock down started almost a full year ago things got hard. I knew child care was recession proof as their are always people that need there kids picked up after school, but did not know I was in what would come to be called an 'essential service'. Just after spring break, the schools where I live were shut down and two week of full day care turned into six months. Parents were either terrified of what was happening or in denial and I struggled with learning how to become a full time teacher as parents asked me to teach their children and help them set up for their online class times.

I worked hard to be a good teacher and a good boss, fighting to make sure my center stayed open even though we had a lot less kids then normal. All the while I was seeing people staying at home and collecting financial aid from the Canadian government. Wow that was tempting... It would have been so easy to close up, the government was even giving an amount to centers that did close and the aid offered was more then I would normally make in a month. Even more tempting, I could have gone to the bank and deferred my mortgage, paying next to nothing for up to six months!

Instead of doing any of this however, my staff and I pushed through and managed to limp to September, thankful schools were back in session giving us a break from the 8am to 6pm days of childcare. I am not trying to brag or pat myself on the back for not going for the assistance, only give some context for what was to follow.

I got sick in October.

It started with a mild discomfort behind my left shoulder blade, but progressed quickly. Just after Thanksgiving, (In October, which is the proper time for Thanksgiving. ^^) my wife convinced me to go to the hospital as it was starting to hurt to breathe. Thank you Lord it was not COVID! They could not see anything on the x-ray and told me it was most likely something called viral pleurisy, which I guess is something common enough that spell check knows what it is but I sure did not. A couple weeks they said... I would be fine in a couple of weeks. There are no medications for this but I was I should take lots of pain meds and a couple weeks off, instead I went back to work. We were already short staffed as no one seemed to want to come back to work as long as the government was paying them to stay home, and the work with the kids was worth the pain.

A few weeks turned into a month and soon the pain became too intense to work effectively, now the doctors were saying four to six weeks and I would definitely be all better, just be patient. I could not work, I could barely talk as every breath was like being stabbed in the back and I finally submitted taking the last of November and all of December off. I would be fine by January... right? Thinking this and still needing money to pay the bills I went on the new government assistance, significantly less but it covered enough we could squeak by.

January came but I was not really better. I could speak, but even light activity still hurt. Working more then three hours was like a marathon and spoilers; still is. I had to go back to work though, we were falling further and further behind financially and I could not expect the after-school care to hold my job indefinitely. My hours were half of what they had been, but between that and what the government was giving me it was just enough to give some breathing room, (no pun intended).

All of this led up to what happened a few weeks ago. The financial aid stalled, they wanted proof I had worked enough last year to qualify to receive the rest of the government assistance keeping us just in the black. Funny thing is, if I had shut down the after-school care back in March and gone on assistance then there would have been no hiccup and I would still be getting the funds we need. Instead I needed to submit paperwork and wait. At the time of this article I will have been waiting three weeks to hear if I even sent them enough information.

Yesterday the bank called.

It was a massive relief! They were calling to see if we were doing OK and if there was anything they could do. I had never heard of anything like this and was deeply touched that they were concerned. The lady told us that we could have four months of our mortgage deferred and that breathing room was exactly what we needed. She transferred us to a specialist. The specialist told us about the lengthy time it took to try to qualify, letting us know about the massive hoops we would need to get the assistance, warning us that it was a one time thing for the life of our mortgage even if we did somehow qualify. Our hopes were quickly dashed and I could not help but ask her: "If we had asked for the help when the lock down started, would we have gotten the help?" She assured me we would have gotten the aid without question. Six months mortgage free.

The level of frustration in that moment was insane. If I had looked after my wants first I would have had six months mortgage free sitting on my bum playing Minecraft and made substantially more then I had working hard and pushing myself. My credit cards nearing their limits and in a place where I am struggling to see where I will be in the next few months, still waiting to see a specialist and find out why I am still sick. If I had hair I would be pulling it out.

If I had played the world's game my life would be easier, instead I "Fight the good fight of the faith". I do not do what I do because it is easy or lucrative; I do want I do because it is right. My actions are not to get your praise, I am not telling you this to get your acclaim. My actions are because I love my God and He tells me that doing what is right gains HIS favor, HIS praise, HIS acclaim. I will see my rewards when I go to heaven.

That is the take away here. It is hard sometimes to do what God calls us to do, especially when we see others getting rewarded for being self-serving. We have to remember though that the things of this world are fleeting and temporary whereas the things of God are eternal. I will continue to do what is right above what is easy, for God's way are better then man's ways. Have a wonderful week, and God bless.

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Uncomfortable Questions

1/27/2021

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This is a faithful saying: If a man desires the position of a bishop, he desires a good work. A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, temperate, sober-minded, of good behavior, hospitable, able to teach; not given to wine, not violent, not greedy for money, but gentle, not quarrelsome, not covetous; one who rules his own house well, having his children in submission with all reverence (for if a man does not know how to rule his own house, how will he take care of the church of God?); not a novice, lest being puffed up with pride he fall into the same condemnation as the devil. Moreover he must have a good testimony among those who are outside, lest he fall into reproach and the snare of the devil. ~ I Timothy 3:1-7

This is a lot to take in and it is only the start. 1st Timothy chapter three describes how a bishop or deacon, basically any leader in a church is required to live. These rules are for the health and integrity of that church and extremely important, not to mention stressful and taxing as we are all hounded by our sinful natures. I think this is why church leaders often take breaks from service every few terms, gives them a break from the intense pressures of the position. You have to go into leadership within a church with a correct intent, a moral and ethical center not compromised by personal motives.

This was not me

I became an associate pastor at a church completely green to true ministry work. Before this I had this website, an online diploma in Biblical Studies and a few months of helping with a seniors ministry under my belt, but the pastor at this church saw a gifting in me to speak God's word. Though I did not know it, I sought out the power, respect and authority this position held; mostly because I felt like I never really had these things before in my life. So I took the posting. If I am being completely transparent, most of the time I end up in positions purely by my God given gifts at adapting and improvisation, not by any proven skill or education. This in turn often puts me in the mindset that I do not deserve what I have; and my family and I are really good at self sabotaging when we do not feel worthy of something.

When I was growing up I was mostly left to myself, not because I was unloved; my mother had a lot going on trying to raise two boys mostly by herself and my brother had quite a few issues he was going through that needed direct attention. So I would find myself hiding in movies TV and books, looking for my identity through these mediums. I saw these strong confident people able to do anything they put there minds to surrounded by tight groups of people who would put their lives on the line for each other... I wanted that so badly...

I remember a time when I tried to fashion myself as a 'greaser' because I had read The Outsiders in school and marveled at how close the gang of teens were in the story. Needless to say I was marked as a weird kid, but I was happy for a time trying to shoe horn myself into that image. In high school, it was the metal head image I adopted, head banging my way into another peer group, hoping to find acceptance.

Seeing this pattern it is no surprise that in my 20s I then changed myself again, professing myself as both a bi-sexual and a wiccan. I was desperate for intimacy, for love, and if I could not get it from one gender then I would try to get it from the other. Not only this, but as I stepped into that world I found other fringe groups like wiccans, covens of people so completely tied together that they were like one poly-amorous being. To an emotional scarred young loner, this was as close to perfect as I felt I would ever find.

This is of course is all wonderfully clear in hind-sight. My motives seemed at the time less desperate grasping for somewhere to belong and more exploration and self discovery. A young man trying to find out 'who he really is'!

These are just a few examples of a long and clear history of me reinventing myself to fit into a group for self fulfillment, trying to fill a hole I see in my life. This does make me wonder though...

I am doing this now?

Is my devotion to God another instance of me reinventing myself to fit into a group? This is not a comfortable question. I really want to delete this and stop looking at this line of questioning right here, right now. Maybe write a nice happy fluff article on how much God loves us? *sigh* I have to keep going, a small terrified part of me does not want to look too closely in case I do not like the answer I come to; but how could I live with that sort of sword hanging over my head? No, I need to follow this through.

I do still copy this pattern of behavior, seeking the approval of others and alter my look to gain the acceptance of others. I used to wear a cowboy hat all of the time, I LOVED that hat! But some at work through it was weird and I knew they did not approve, so I stopped wearing it saying it was so the kids did not keep trying to grab it when I really just wanted to fit in. But unlike bi-sexuality, wicca, fictional gang affiliation or any of the multitude of other things I had shoe-horned into my life; there is something different about my faith. There is one thing my faith in Jesus Christ has that none of the other things have.

truth

I believe, pure and simple. In my heart, I can FEEL HIS PRESENCE, even when I am at my worst, He is there. I cannot answer every question, I cannot demonstrate or give concrete researched explanations for every perceived argument against the Living God of the Bible. The only thing I can tell you without a shadow of doubt, is that HE is the one and only thing in my life that is solid and unchanging. Through the storm of my emotional turmoil, He is there. Through my mental anguish and depression, He is there. And when my body is broken and in pain, He is there. God is my rock, the center of my universe, and what keeps my grip on reality solid.

God, you are my father when none have been.
God, you are my love even when I do not love myself.
God, you are my hope when my world is crashing around my ears.
God, you are who I cling to when my mind shatters into splinters that threaten to tear me apart.
You are my Savior, my Redeemer and my Friend. Thank you God for walking me down this road and showing me I have nothing to fear in the shadows. Amen.

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Second Chances

1/20/2021

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And I thank Christ Jesus our Lord who has enabled me, because He counted me faithful, putting me into the ministry, although I was formerly a blasphemer, a persecutor, and an insolent man; but I obtained mercy because I did it ignorantly in unbelief. ~ I Timothy 1:12-13

I was not a 'good' person before I came to Christ. Do not get me wrong I was kind at times and compassionate, fun loving and had a good sense of humor; it is not like I was a Bond villain or anything. I helped people and did do some good things, but at the same time I was an angry vindictive person. I was a liar and a cheat, a thief and a bully who would take any opportunity to get what I wanted and to hell with anyone else and what they needed. Sometimes I look back on the person I was and shake my head in disbelief at just how selfish I had been, often to the detriment of those who were close to me. Worst of all, I was a heathen blasphemer. I practiced Wicca and performed rituals with the intent of getting my way in life and I do believe they were effective at times. I have much to say on the reality of the occult but I will save that discussion for another time. As a warlock, that is, a male witch I hated Christians. I did not hate them because of their faith but because they were always coming to me telling me what I could and could not do with my life and I was very vocal in my disregard for the Church, to put it mildly.

I am not bringing this up to belittle myself or cast myself in a harsh light, I was who I was at the time and nothing I do now can change the past. In a recently Let's Play I did on my YouTube channel I go into detail as to how I got from there to where I am now and I might write it down at some point but again... not today.... that is not the point of this post.

I was a blasphemer and a persecutor of the Church, looking back I see many similarities between who I was and Paul when he went by the name of Saul. I was insolent and self-righteous thinking I knew what was correct though I could not have been more wrong. And yet. Even with all of this going on, God saw something in me. He had a purpose for me even when I was seeped in pagan mythology and new-age witchcraft. He had made me for His service from the very beginning and only required of me to turn to Him and to open my eyes to what His Kingdom was really about. It was not about rules and restrictions, casting aside the pleasures of life and living as a monk or a Stepford Wife. It is about love; about caring for each other, loving each other with all of our hearts and building something that is bigger then ourselves and more important then what 'we want'. God's Kingdom.

This was true for me, and it is true for you too. If God can take a degenerate warlock and turn him into someone who has dedicated his life to God's Kingdom and giving children a strong moral and spiritual foundation; just imagine what He wants to do with you?

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Serve or be Served

1/13/2021

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The Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many. ~ Matthew 20:28

I read the Bible, I listen to what the Holy Spirit imparts to me and I try to live my life in a way that honors God. I like to think I know a lot about what it means to be a follower of Christ, but even today it absolutely staggers me when I see how completely opposite a life devoted to Christ is from what the world would have us live.

Let us take the verse above as an example. Jesus Christ would have us live for others, He came and told us He had come to fulfill the Law we had been under, (the 300+ rules and regulations of the Old Testament) and gave us two. Love God and love others. Period. Both of these rules put others before ourselves. Jesus Himself, the Son of God came and put others before Himself. He came with the purpose of dragging us up from the dirt and setting us in the throne room of God, and I do not feel like I am exaggerating or mixing in hyperbole when I say this. He served, and we are called to do the same. This does not mean to ignore your needs or that you can not live a happy or fulfilling life. God wants you to be joyful and content, but also to help others be the same.

By sharing that joy with others we live happier and more fulfilled lives. Nothing in this world brings me more happiness then knowing I have served in a meaningful way and helped a brother or sister in need. It does not matter if they know it was me, this is not about getting a reward but about sharing love and joy through service. The world on the other hand... well I do not want to get too negative here or make accusations, but it seems that the more we go on the more life becomes about getting more and more. We have been taught that we will get joy and happiness from the acquisition of more and better toys then our neighbors and if we can not get more then we can be stated by insuring that they... will have less.

This breeds a mentality of entitlement, that we deserve more, that we have the right to what we want and if we do not get it then we should shout and argue because the world, "Owes me!". The truth though is that the world owes you nothing, your rights are words written on a piece of paper by men long since dead. All we really have is each other and a God who has given us a map to living a joyful life.

So now we are left with a question; do we live a life based on self fulfillment? Scratching for everything we can get and stepping on each other so we can die the person on top? Or, do we live a life of service, helping others and taking joy from the knowledge that we are giving as was given to us? One will get you stuff, but the other will bring you joy and peace and in this age I believe the latter is what has true value. I would like to leave you with a quote from a great man named Albert Schweitzer:

Those will be happy who are looking for, and are finding, how they can serve.

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Off the Deep End

1/6/2021

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As for you, brothers, do not grow weary in doing good. If anyone does not obey what we say in this letter, take note of that person, and have nothing to do with him, that he may be ashamed. Do not regard him as an enemy, but warn him as a brother. (2 Thessalonians 3: 13-15 ESV)

Sometimes it can be VERY difficult to do what I know God has asked for me to do. I get angry and frustrated by the actions of others, especially when the ones hurting me are Christians. I have what you might call 'trust issues', issues gleaned from a life time of people who have taken my trust and shattered it, leaving me unwilling to invest in new friendships. What is the point in investing in others just so they can hurt me after all? This was never a conscious decision, but one that I have recently become aware of.

I think this is why I both cling to God and pull away from Him. I cling to God because I want, I NEED to trust Him, and He has never actually failed me. Yet. I say 'yet' because here is where the other side of the coin comes in. Though I know I can trust God in my heart, most of the pastors and other Christians I have known have left me wounded and hurting. This leaves me with flickers of doubt, moments where I ask the question "Are you there for me?".

Let's put a pin in that for a moment, I have a story for you today. I have a massive irrational fear of heights. I am talking about vertigo on a step stool, nausea when over five feet up level here. One time back in my twenties, I was trying to woo a girl, (Yes, I said woo). She was cute and I was shy so I did the only thing I could think of to impress her, I went up on a high diving board and prepared to jump off. I never claimed this was a smart move, I was young and hormones were in play here so there I was. Thing is, because it was an indoor pool the water was smooth like glass making it almost look like it was not even there. The view was forty feet down and my very scared brain saw it as a long drop to a very hard concrete stop. I was absolutely paralyzed, caught between my fear and my pride with a line of frustrated and impatient hecklers growing behind me by the minute.

It is sort of like any challenge in life really, we can only see the danger, the problem and the circumstance in front of us. We often can not see that we are not alone, that there might be something between us and the bottom of the pool. A very nice lifeguard saw I was frozen and took pity on me, she splashed the water beneath the diving board, the ripples broke up the surface showing me the water between me and what looked like my doom. I was never in any REAL danger because the water was there even if I could not see it. In the say way, God is always there ready for us though we may not see Him.

Going back to that question, I can say that God is there for me because He has always been there for me whether I can see Him of not. I am not a follower of Christ because of Christians, they are not 'better' more 'trustworthy' or even have it all together; Christians have just as many problems as everyone else. And I will probably continue to have trust issues with people because much like me, they mess up while striving towards the never ending goal of trying to be more like God. I am a follower of Christ because He does not falter, He will never betray my trust.

And when other people hurt me, I can see them as brothers and sisters on the same road as me. They will make mistakes and break trusts just like I do, but when I forgive them instead of letting bitterness enter my heart, I have a little less to carry with me as I go.

By the way, I did get the date with that girl from the pool. It was something I came to regret for a very long time afterwards.

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Love Hope Faith and Love

1/3/2021

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Season of Mercy

12/30/2020

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This is evidence of the righteous judgment of God, that you may be considered worthy of the kingdom of God, for which you are also suffering-- since indeed God considers it just to repay with affliction those who afflict you, and to grant relief to you who are afflicted as well as to us, when the Lord Jesus is revealed from heaven with his mighty angels
2nd Thessalonians 1:5-7 ESV

As I lay back on my couch, a laptop pillow on my legs and write this a dull throbbing pain shudders through my lungs. The pain has been there for months now and though I have good days it is for the most part unceasing. It's frustrating and annoying and does little for my otherwise 'sunny disposition'. It's funny how when you are suffering from something, anything, you look for someone or something to blame. For me I don't have anyone to blame for what I am going through, I don't even have myself to blame for this but I can and often do find things in other people, imagined slights that I can focus on. I quickly realize I'm only transferring my frustration on them and do my best to ignore the Mister Grumpy-Pants attitude but it got me to thinking.

Even if there was an obvious villain to my story, which there is not, would their punishment be mine to met out? Would I have the right to bring judgement down on them and say they need to suffer for their wrong doings, and how would that make me any more than the villain in their story? I can already hear the frantic typing in the comments section, 'Because they started it, they brought it upon themselves!' you cry indignantly! Maybe, assuming they did indeed do something to you, maybe they did bring it on themselves. That begs the question; who has the authority and the right to make them pay? Who knows the transgressor and the depths of their crimes to adequately judge and dictate a consequence that matched the offenses? Who but God?

Now I get it, not everyone reading this is Christian, but let's run with the idea that the God of the Bible is in fact real, (something I believe wholeheartedly) and that the person who you believe has done you wrong is in fact guilty of the offense and probably much more that they were never even caught for. Given these things why on earth would we want to be the ones to take up vengeance against our persecutors when the punishment of our all-powerful God would be both worse and more just then anything we could consider. We could just sit back and wait shouting out "Smite them oh mighty smiter!"

I suggest, that we are unwilling to relent to God's authority in retribution because we know that He, our all-powerful, merciful Lord... will forgive them just as He forgave us. He sees us in this moment as he saw Jonah whom He pulled from his cercumstances and forgave, then watched shaking His head as Jonah levied vengeance and unforgiveness on Nineveh. If you haven't read this book of the Bible lately you seriously need to go back and read it again after reading this message. (Book of Jonah) He, our God, knows our transgressions and He forgives us as we are all the villains in someone else's story.

I suggest that where we seek vengeance, God offers salvation. That is a pretty big statement so let me repeat that in case you were not paying attention: Where we seek vengeance, God offers salvation. When we look for villains, God seeks His children. Jesus told us: “You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I say to you, Do not resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if anyone would sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well." (Matthew 5:38-40) He is cautioning us against seeking vengeance for ourselves as they did under the laws of Moses in the Old Testament and instead offer them forgiveness and turn away trusting in God to be the arbitrator and dealing with those who have harmed us with love and mercy.

This by no means says to stand there and just take it becoming victims and letting others walk all over you. If someone hurts you, you walk away because forgiveness does NOT mean giving them permission to hurt you. My brother hurt me and my family a lot over the course of my life, admittedly there was often we had done things to warrant it, but after a time it came to the point where his presence would be toxic. So what do you do in a situation like this?

Some would say you are well within your rights to give him the boot, tell him to take off and cut all ties with you. The other side of the coin would say that he is family; you just have to accept him for who he is and suck it up. The former casts him out and in my brother's case, would have validated his feelings that he was worthless. The latter on the other hand would have built resentment and anger, eating away at the love remaining between us; with the added bonus of getting to live with a toxic relationship that hurt everyone involved. I wish I could say we made a correct, loving choice in this situation but the truth is we did both of these things at one point or another before we listened to what God had to say.

Straight up God says to love, no where in Scripture does it say we have to LIKE anyone, but to LOVE everyone. We forgave my brother but gave him his space, hoping and praying that one day we would return to us. That very thing did eventually happen and now broken relationships have begun to be mended. In his story we were the villains and he in ours, now we are family, together in love. This does not remove anything that was done, but we choose to love, to forgive as God does us.

This is all well and fine, but is poor comfort when we watch people seeming to get away with murder, and there is no repentance in sight! What about the people that step on us and don't seem to even care, or worse, do it with malice and intentional hurt? In all honesty you are not going to like the answer. We hold to the law of God and of man. The law of God says we forgive and love them anyway, even if we don't like them. The law of man says that if someone hurts us or breaks the law then it is the government that punishes them. In both cases it is not ours to seek vengeance and to do so not only puts us in the wrong, but robs us of the peace and serenity that forgiving another brings.

In the end it's not about blame, we can trust in God's justice. And in doing so, learn to forgive ourselves and let go of negative feelings and resentments. This allows us to love God, love others and love ourselves as He loves us.

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